Sunday, March 11, 2012

punctuation counts

A Trifecta challenge: this weekend's challenge is to give us a story or snippet of a story which includes, in exactly 33 words, a justified exclamation point.  Make us believe that your exclamation point simply needs to be in your story.


The nurse furrows her brow in confusion.
Slippery coldness as the magic wand glides over my abdomen.
A pause; impassable silence.
Listening, we strain our ears and the world holds it’s breath.
There!

10 comments:

According to Mags... said...

This made me want to cheer! Been there! :P

Jester Queen said...

Oh yes, that little heartbeat makes the slimy belly worthwhile every time, doesn't it?

Jester Queen said...

Oh yes, that little heartbeat makes the slimy belly worthwhile every time, doesn't it?

Nicole said...

This is great! Very well done :)

loverofwords said...

I am so glad I found your blog. I think that you must have dozens of ideas because of what you do every day. And even your description about locking up the scissors could lead to a story or even a book. Looking forward to reading more.

Sandra said...

I love this one! Very personal to me because it portrays such special times in my life. I was lucky to have two safe and much wished-for pregnancies. Your 33 words were so compelling. Thanks for sharing!

booguloo said...

Exciting times.

MOV said...

love this!

best,
MOV

Anonymous said...

Very moving. Been a nurse in Adolescent RTC. Much there. Now work with adults, overgrown adolescents... But OB is the greatest form of nursing. Evelyn

Trifecta said...

Thanks so much for linking up. It would be a very harsh critic who would deny a writer an exclamation mark for that -- it was absolutely merited. This is a great response to the prompt. Hope to see you for the weekday challenge too.